wasted hours

i'm a sucker for nostalgia. i can't explain it or even express it coherently, but everywhere i have ever been and everything i have ever done, i look back on and miss intensely. places where i used to go on holiday, my old school/s, parties i got drunk and silly at, people i used to talk to. i miss my mum and dad working at the age. i miss playing the cello. i miss new york. i miss living in kiama. i don't know what it is, maybe i long for a simpler time - as if every passing second makes life more and more complicated. i can look to the future now, without feeling so scared, but i still look back all the time, and ache for everything i can never return to.