Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hilarious. Show all posts

Friday, June 12, 2009

you'll speak when you're spoken to


today was lots of fun. since it was report-writing day, i had yet another day off so my friends and i went out. i bought a croissant and starbucks for breakfast, then took a train into the city and shopped in melbourne central until 11am when i met janet and tina under the clocks. we went up to hoyts to see i love you, man (it's kind of a tradition for us to go and watch crap movies). it ended up being hilarious, which was a pleasant surprise.

afterwards, we met up with our more studious friend tammy (she often bails on us to go and study - to be fair, she is in year 12) and went to max brennan's to try a chocolate pizza, which tina was particularly enthused about. it's basically dough with chocolate sauce, cornflakes, marshmallow and pecans. next, tammy led us to shanghai dumpling house, an extremely cheap asian restaurant in an alleyway off chinatown. she warned us that we weren't paying for the hygiene or the service, but i guess only time will tell if i have food poisoining. i didn't plan to eat anything after the pizza, but i had a few fried dumplings because they looked so appealingly greasy.

tammy ditched us after that to go and study, so janet, tina and i spent a little time in starbucks and then went our seperate ways. i was feeling a bit guilty about eating so much junk, and then i got home and remembered that friday is our family binge day, when we have fish and chips for dinner. then mum inexplicably brought home chocolate after she went to the supermarket. so, croissant, chocolate pizza, fried dumplings, fish and chips, chocolate. i'm going to regret this tomorrow. i'm still trying to fight off the three kilograms i haven't shaken since germany, and all those butterbrezels.
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Thursday, June 11, 2009

2009 GAT = george clooney

today i completed the general achievement test, which is an exam that basically tests your stills in all areas and creates a generalised score that helps examiners make sure all your assessments are marked accurately. it was three hours long, so it wasn't so fun. however, an elaborate plan was cooked up not long before all of victoria's students sat it: to mention george clooney in one or both of the written exams, to mess with the examiner's heads.

unfortunately, i kind of forgot about mentioning him, but countless other people remembered, and i've been trawling the facebook groups devoted to the plan and reading some of the hilarious ways george clooney was worked into people's written tasks.
by the way, the first written task was about bees, and the second was about material possessions. here are the highlights from both:
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"george clooney is considered a busy man, statistics show that he is in fact as busy as a bee."
"george clooney is not a bee. passing thought."
"although this could be argued to not be a possession, if i was to have a boyfriend who looked like george clooney, i would want to be able to enjoy him, and not constantly feel guilty about such a pleasure."
"in ocean's 11, george clooney's character was a very materialistic man. he was also very sexy in that suit."
"george clooney is the bee's knees."
"the role of the drone bee is one consisting solely of reproduction... not dissimilar to george clooney."
"the pollination of bees is a vital role for the germination of crops. without the bees' pollen the fruits would not seed therefore we would not have the fruits we have today. without the fruits our bodies wouldn't function as they do today and george clooney's movies wouldn't be as good as they are."
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"and that is how materialism can lead to a selfish behavior, much like how george clooney robbed a casino."
"if there's one thing that george clooney can't do it's make honey. we'll leave that to the bees."
"she was just like george clooney if george clooney was female and a bee."
"while they're no george clooney, the male drone bee still manages to attract the female queen bee, and reproduce."
"george clooney strides into the room, nespresso in hand, reminding us of the obsession in our society for possessions. brilliant, george clooney endorsed possessions."
"there are some bees that look exactly like george clooney."
"people are always striving for the best, for the best home, the fastest car and the broadest dvd collection (including the 1994 batman movie, where batman was played by george clooney)."
"george clooney turned down a role in "bee movie". had he known more about bees, he just might have accepted the part."
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i could go on for hours. people who wrote george clooney into their essay, i salute you.