french playlist

1. la javanaise ~ serge gainsbourg

2. parlez-moi de lui ~ dalida

3. si la photo et bonne ~ barbara

4. tu veux ou tu veux pas ~ brigitte bardot

5. quelqu'un ma dit ~ carla bruni

6. laisse tomber les filles ~ fabienne delsol

7. dis, quand reviendras-tu? ~ martha wainwright

8. poupee de cire, poupee de son ~ france gall

9. non, je ne regrette rien ~ edith piaf

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miserable lie

recently i realised that while all this time i thought i had changed from the person i was a year ago, i'm still exactly the same. back in the days when i was sheltered i had the will but not the means to self-destruct

and under these various self-destructive behaviours is the same girl, i'm still sheltered and debilitatingly self-conscious, awkward and shy.

now i can mask the person i am but that doesn't change the fact that i'm still selfish, i'm still wasting my time on the unattainable, and i'm still not really living, i doubt i'll look back on this year with fondness

this all sounds like pretentious rubbish but it's completely sincere, i suppose i should resolve to make myself a better person, i don't really know how but i'll try my best

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but you know i know when it's a dream

movies i have to see, in order of importance

1. nowhere boy
2. the lovely bones
3. the french kissers
4. sherlock holmes
5. bright star
6. the invention of lying

which is almost $100 in movie tickets all up

:/

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oh fuuuuuuuuuck

shit study score
and the scaling is a BITCH

lose your dreams and you will lose your mind

i have a compulsive tendency to compare myself to everyone i know and figure out where it is that they come off better than me.

i don't know if this is a personality flaw that can be fixed, a permanent and entrenched character trait that will be with me forever, or just high school.

whatever it is, it's fucking with me.

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an old man awake in his own death

this is the place that was promised
when i went to sleep,
taken from me when i woke.

this is the place unknown to anyone,
where names of ships and stars
drift out of reach.

the mountains are not mountains anymore;
the sun is not the sun.
one tends to forget how it was.

i see myself, i see
the shine of darkness on my brow.
once i was whole, once i was young...

as if it mattered now
and you could hear me
and the weather of this place would ever cease.

~ mark strand

lipstick killer

william heirens is the "lipstick killer", incarcerated in illinois since 1946. charged with the murders of two women and a six-year old girl, he earned his moniker by allegedly scrawling in lipstick on the bedroom wall of one of his victims:

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pictures that make me smile

edie sedgwick sneezing

graham chapman in and now for something completely different

audrey hepburn

john lennon + pigeon

gay rights protest at yale + evangelist

houses in motion

jethro cave is mah dream man

might be getting a waitressing job at this cheesy 50s-style diner in south yarra, fuck yeah. pretty much my dream job.

i love it when people turn out to be better people than you thought they were before.

my life would be pretty good right now if i hadn't totally fucked things up by being selfish and impulsive and quick-tempered, my personality flaws make a mess of everything.

today while i was working i accidentally caught my cross necklace on my finger when i went to grab something, and it broke so i had to use scissors as makeshift pliers to link it back together. i don't know if this is a bad or good omen.

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and you have no idea, no idea how it feels

to be on your own

in your own home

with the fucking phone

and the mother of gloom

in your bedroom

standing over your bed

with her hand in your head

rosemary kennedy and ginnifer goodwin: separated at birth? (srsly.)

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ning nang nong

found this on youtube, wooooow blast from the past!

the dancing mushrooms are a little unsettling though.

hello

you're quite attractive

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monique and i are starting a zine, i feel more self-indulgently arty than ever. it's our summer project.

i was looking at a blog i found about irrational fears, and this one made me laugh:

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"Hi I'm Ryan, and I'm afraid of bathtub sharks. I actually have this totally dumb fear that underneath my bathtub is a shark waiting for me to fall through the bottom and eat me. I don't know where this came from, only that it is. For a while I went through a period where I was more afraid of bathtub alligators, and once for a while with snakes, but mostly its the sharks. Now, I've been to construction sites and seen that there is no way for a shark to fit in between the first and second floor of my house, let alone room for it to mantain the constant motion necessary for a shark to survive, yet the fear persists."

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teehee. bathtub sharks. and this, while long-winded, is also fucking hilarious. new favourite site? i think yes.

nice quotes i have found recently

"the individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. if you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. but no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
- friedrich nietzche

"there's an awful lot of white, british kids who have never really gone hungry, always had a roof to live under, but at the same time are desperately unhappy. it's not total poverty, just a poverty of ideas."
- richie edwards

"when you’re a teenager and in your early twenties it seems desperately eternal and excruciatingly painful. whereas as you grow older you realise that most things are excruciatingly painful and that is the human condition. most of us continue to survive because we’re convinced that somewhere along the line, with grit and determination and perseverance, we will end up in some magical union with somebody. it’s a fallacy, of course, but it’s a form of religion. you have to believe. there is a light that never goes out and it’s called hope."
- morrissey

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