Sunday, December 19, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
it's just as well i had already committed to a life of sin before i read the chronicles of narnia, otherwise that beautiful writing would have converted me. example, the last paragraph of the last narnia book, after it was revealed to the children that they had been killed in a train wreck as they ascend into aslan's country -
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
i don't understand when people say that andy warhol was a hack, that his work was meaningless. that's the idea, i thought. confronting the world with the lack of meaning, the purposelessness inherent in life itself, just its utter emptiness. you can look into marilyn's eyes but her gaze is unfocused and vague, a sort of thousand yard stare that goes on forever into complete nothingness. it's just the surface laid bare with nothing underneath. because that's what life is, isn't it? i think it's beautiful.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
2. buffalo stance - neneh cherry
3. write about love - belle & sebastian
4. things i did when i was dead - no age
5. c.r.e.a.m. - wu-tang clan
6. silver soul - beach house
7. heartbreaker - girls
8. it takes a muscle - m.i.a.
9. boyfriend - best coast
10. ce jour la - sylvie vartan
11. green eyes - wavves
12. slip inside this house - primal scream
13. rock & roll - the velvet underground
14. teenage spaceship - smog
15. alright - supergrass
2009's summer playlist
Friday, November 12, 2010
okay i lied, i'm back. i had a sudden epiphany, and needed to express the fact that despite the fact that i found the classes incredibly grating and can't do the subjects very well at all and i find them both quite difficult, i will really, genuinely miss literature and philosophy. the subjects themselves and everything we have to study in them are so so beautiful. goodbye keats, aristotle, chekhov, sophocles, murdoch, socrates etc. - sorry for complaining about you for so long, i love you all.
not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
and watching, with eternal lids apart,
like nature's patient, sleepless eremite,
the moving waters at their priestlike task
of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
no--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
to feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
and so live ever--or else swoon to death.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
there is a sweetness
in your little girl mouth
and the pearls you hold
in the palm of your hand
everytime you extend that hand
you break down you fantasize
you are circumsized
pierced four times
your sacred heart bleeds
drips and drips down
women weep at your feet
twelve men turn you
twelve men desire you
(ammonia clouds your armpits)
a starfish quivers in your belly
and the arrows shake out
shake out shake out
and the muscles in your heart ache
a fish slaps back your face
you roll you roll over
in the sanctuary yards
in a coarse black dress
bless your hot virgin mouth
you would be Judas
and Christ himself
you would be Mary Magdalene
the only woman
who made our savior weep
yet you would pull mandrax in
like the sacred wafer
leave me for eternal sleep
But no. I wont let you go.
I wont let you go.no.
wont let the honey drain
from your sweet sweet box
wont let the crowds blush and gasp
while you carry your cross
wont let the flower girls fan you
hind a big black hearse
wont let the pearls
from your little girl mouth
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
but the plus side is, in exactly 18 days i will be free from school. and then:
* blondie/the pretenders on december 1
* girls on december 10
* christmas in new york
* whole life being ahead of me etc.
ps. this song is PHENOMENAL.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
"i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... and then i remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. but don't worry... you will someday." - american beauty
Friday, October 15, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
so i just finished watching vivre sa vie properly for the first time, and this scene and the finale it precedes is by far some of the most beautiful cinema i have ever seen.
"and in sooth some who beheld the portrait spoke of its resemblence as of a mighty marvel and a proof not less of the power of the painter than of his deep love for her whom he depicted so surpassingly well. but at length, as the labor drew nearer to its conclusion, there were admitted none into the turret, for the painter had grown wild with the ardor of his work and turned his eyes from the canvas rarely, even to regard his wife. and he would not see that the tints which he spread upon the canvas were drawn from the cheeks of her who sat beside him. and when many weeks had passed and but little remained to do save one brush upon the mouth and one tint upon the eye, the spirit of the lady again flickered up as the flame of the lamp, and then the brush was given and then the tint was placed. and for one moment, the painter stood entranced, before the work he had wrought. but in the next, while he yet gazed, he grew tremulous and aghast and crying with a loud voice: "this is indeed life itself!" turned suddenly to regard his beloved: she was dead."
Friday, October 8, 2010
oh roy orbison, why do you depress me so.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
in order of when it changed my life. nb: don't judge me.
green day - i had a huge crush on the 5'7", eyelinered frontman billie joe armstrong (it just keeps getting better and better). getting into vaguely heavier but still very tame territory, and i was still inexplicably convinced that i was a "punk", how embarrassing. AND they were my first concert, sigh. eventually i started looking into green day's influences leading to....
the smiths - i had a huge crush on morrissey (part of me still thinks he is my soulmate). i listened to the smiths at a point in my life when i was EXTREMELY whiney and had a disgustingly embarrassing, all-consuming real-life crush, so there are very few songs i can listen to now without feeling slightly shameful. i really did worship moz and co. at the time though and i still appreciate them a lot, i might never feel such a connection to a single band ever again even if it was based on a prolonged attack of complete pathetic-ness.
the velvet underground - around the time i became completely obsessed with andy warhol, i started listening to the velvet underground, particularly their first album. vu are probably my most prolonged musical obsession as while my interest occasionally wanes, there is just so much material out there that i have yet to find and start listening to. such an amazing band. thanks, andy!
new order - can't quite remember when i first started properly listening to them but the trainspotting soundtrack probably had a bit to do with it. i worshipped new order and once again had the problem where i overplayed certain songs to the point where i can no longer listen to them quite so frequently. still have lots of love for the trainspotting soundtrack though.
bob dylan - i owned highway 61 revisited for the longest time but for some weird reason i just couldn't get into it apart from a couple of songs (probably because back then i couldn't listen to a song longer than 4 minutes). in particular, i never got why like a rolling stone was so great - i had always skipped over it after the first 10 seconds (i know right, there was something wrong with me!). anyway one day i was doing something to my hair and couldn't be bothered skipping it, and all of a sudden it hit me, and i have never looked back. like a rolling stone is probably my favourite song of all time and i love everything related to bob dylan except for all albums after blood on the tracks (that level of brilliance can't be maintained forever y'know)
the ronettes - to be fair, i got into a LOT of girl groups last year but the ronettes were the first and most important. i will never get over the amazingness of be my baby, ever. just a timeless and beautiful and perfect band.
these are only the ones that stick out, there are many more that i can't remember right now and of course the minor bands that had some influence on my journey to listening-to-semi-decent-music. and to think it all started with sk8r boi.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
it's so beautiful.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
next year was supposed to be travel but now it turns out that i have a potential modelling contract that will start literally as soon as i finish my last exam, which is totally bizarre because i sort of forgot about modelling altogether for about two years, planned my fantasy life without it even being factored in and now of a sudden it's forced its way back into my consciousness again and i'm not sure quite what to do with it. the consensus is that i will not be hired for runway because at 5'8" i am far too short, but they think i will pick up quite a bit of photographic work. i don't know whether it will be particularly lucrative but since this agency is still interested even though i'm too short and too fat i assume so, which is comforting.
in an unrelated matter, two posts ago it was my two-hundreth post. weird, i've never stuck with any creative endeavour for as long as i have this blog.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
however i have spent hours on the ATAR score calculator recently and have decided that as long as i do decently (A or A+) on most of my exams, i may get 94-ish which will be enough to get into arts at melbourne uni, and if i get in the mid-80s i'll still get into arts at monash which is less cool but still quite decent. and once it's all over, freedom. in two months! when did this all happen so fast, i'm not ready for the real world yet!
heartbeat - annie
just - radiohead
territorial pissings - nirvana
Sunday, September 5, 2010
b) be the person i want to be, starting....
wish me luck.
Friday, September 3, 2010
- the seventh seal, ingmar bergman
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
sit and drink pennyroyal tea
i'm anemic royalty
- pennyroyal tea, nirvana
i officially have 22 days of school left, ever. i'd like to say that this upsets me, but it really doesn't. school has been one of the most depressing and awful components of my life for a long time now, and the last few years have been a slow downward slide into a complete lack of motivation to do any work anymore. which is fortunate because i'm almost certainly going on a gap year next year, after so much of my time spent convincing my parents that it isn't, in fact, going to cause me to throw in the towel and never go to university. it's weird to think that i'm almost finally free, to an extent anyway.
currently listening to:
just like heaven (the cure cover) - dinosaur jr.
nothing but a heartache - the flirtations
back on the chain gang - the pretenders
daddy never understood - the folk implosion
Sunday, August 29, 2010
i'm going to stop now because it's going down the road of all those horrible whiney posts i used to write before i made my blog public. here is a nice song instead: