things i loved, but did not love enough

"from the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. one fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was ee gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was europe and africa and south america, and another fig was constantin and socrates and attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs i couldn't quite make out.

i saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because i couldn't make up my mind which of the figs i would choose. i wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and as i sat there unable to decide the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

- the bell jar, sylvia plath

does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body?

"now i’ll never see him again, and maybe it’s a good thing. he walked out of my life last night for once and for all. i know with sickening certainty that it’s the end. there were just those two dates we had, and the time he came over with the boys, and tonight. yet i liked him too much -- way too much, and i ripped him out of my heart so it wouldn’t get to hurt me more than it did. oh, he’s magnetic, he’s charming; you could fall into his eyes. let’s face it: his sex appeal was unbearably strong. i wanted to know him -- the thoughts behind the handsome, confident, wise-cracking mask."- sylvia plath