Wednesday, November 4, 2009

the state line felt like the berlin wall

i've spent all of this month's allowance last month. meaning i have zero dollars to get me through various outings, and it's the fucking holidays. lovely

went to an op-shop and saw these fabulous ankle boots, it occured to me that i didn't have the $7 to pay for them so i just walked out wearing them. felt a bit bad until the sole fell off after 10 minutes of walking, looked at them more closely and they were really very flimsy. they probably should have been thrown out in the first place instead of put on sale. i was probably helping the op-shop then, in a sense. well that's what i'm telling myself anyway.

watched sixteen candles. it was kind of awful but in the best way possible and it really holds up quite well these days (apart from the racism), all things considering. john hughes was a god

i realised that depending on the day, like a rolling stone can sound a little or a lot like my life

last night i almost had a panic attack. i think about death quite a lot, i have a morbid fascination of sorts, but when i was lying in my bed trying to sleep, all of a sudden the full force of my mortality hit me all at once and i totally freaked. i felt nauseous with worry and i had to open my facebook and immerse myself in the mundanity of everybody else's lives in order to calm down. it was awful. i hope this isn't going to plague my life now that i can't seperate it from an impending sense of dread